Baby's Arm holding an Apple:
A penis so large that it bears a striking resemblance to a baby's arm holding an apple. This is
most common amongst black men so it might be more accurate to say a baby's arm holding a
The guy who waited too long to pull out. AKA the father of your child.
Tan rectangular shit stains left in someone’s underwear.
Bait and Tackle:
Cock and Balls.
Clever slang for a wrinkly butthole.
The act of burying one's penis so far into another human's orifice that all that is left is the
A male thong.
A person just above the legal age of sexual consent. 18 years old in normal society, 16 years old
in Kentucky, and 14 in parts of Canada. Jesus, Canada. If only Jared Fogel was Canadian, he
might be still selling foot longs instead of taking them. For the record, fucking 14 year olds
is super fucked up.
Somebody who sells alcohol at a bar. AKA the only person who really understands you.
Bat shit crazy:
Every woman. EVER.
Drugs for poor people and inbreeds that will make homeless peoples' faces seem like McDonalds
cheeseburgers (side note: if you do bath salts, you have officially failed at life.)
A magic elixir that turns sad feelings into happy feelings and makes people more attractive.
(side note: if you drink too much beer, it will turn happy feelings into sad feelings and make
you less attractive.)
A phenomenon that occurs when the consumption of beer turns a three into a ten.
the game the guy at the frat house was playing before he raped you.
A device that pumps beer out of a keg and into your cup.
1. The act of engaging in sexual relations with an animal.
2. Something lonely people do when they have too much of two things: time and peanut butter.
Big Dick Player:
An individual who is widely successful. Like-helicopter-pad-on-their-yacht-type successful. (Side
note: actually having a big dick is not a requirement.)
The last face you see after you say, "this drink tastes funny."
Birth Control Pills:
Are way more convenient than abortions.
A person who engages in sexual activities with members of both genders. Something every guy
secretly wishes his girlfriend is.
Kristen McNeilson. She said she would go to my 6th grade "Under the Sea" dance with me, but she
showed up with Justin Ellis instead. FUCK THAT BITCH.
A black person holding a flashlight. HA! Seriously though, it's a super cool ultraviolet light
that makes fluorescent colors glow, optimal for stoney music listening sessions.
The act of drinking alcohol to such excess that it erases your memories from the night before.
What every guy "says" he was when he cheated on his girlfriend. Take it from us ladies, he
remembers EVERYTHING. As a matter of fact, is he in the room with you right now? Stare at him.
Just stare at him. Is he getting nervous? Is he uncomfortable? Good. Dump that lying cheating
Cheap Mexican Heroin.
A piece of fabric or silk that is placed over the eyes to block one's vision. Spoiler Alert: if
your partner is into wearing a blindfold during sex, they're not kinky; you're just ugly.
Breakfast of champions.
Slang for cocaine. Also, a dope ass Johnny Depp movie.
Blow a load:
When semen shoots out of the tip of a man's penis like confetti.
When a penis is sweetly suckled upon. Appropriately named because a woman would rather work a 12-hour shift at her job than actually give you one of these.
Blow up doll:
An inflatable sex toy that resembles a surprised Asian.
When a man's testicles become swollen and sore from storing too much ejaculate.
A strain of marijuana that will get you so high you will think you turned into the blueberry from
the Fruit of the Loom commercials.
The act of getting a blow job while taking a shit. (Side note: if your girl gives you one of
these, marry her.)
The act of restraining someone during sex by using straps and ties.
A device used for smoking marijuana. Or, if you ask your mom, it's that funny smelling vase in
1. A music festival.
2. A good place to take drugs.
A surgical procedure wherein a woman gets her breasts enlarged in order to charge more for her
Inviting someone over for the sole purpose of sexual relations. Pretty much any guy that calls
you past 10 P.M. and asks you to "Netflix and chill."
Box of Wine:
Nothing says high class quite like cheap wine in a cardboard box.
Brazilian Fart Porn:
A type of pornography where Brazilian women fart in each others' faces.
When a girl waxes her pubic hair completely off. (Side note: If your boyfriend insists on you
having one of these, he may or may not be a pedophile.)
Breaking and entering:
Unlawfully entering someone else's property. Also known as how crackheads spend their weekend.
When someone is too ugly to fuck, but you're too horny to care. This is a clever work around.
Place a brown bag over the hideous fucker's face and enjoy.
Turning the fuck up, or scientifically known as "getting cray."
The act of fucking a girl from behind, firmly gripping her breasts, and whispering something
horrendous in her ear that will cause her to buck like a bronco (Example: "You have herpes too,
When a girl is buried in the sand up to her neck, leaving only her head exposed, while a small
army of distinguished gentleman unleash a torrent of seminal fluids upon her nubile head.
A lesbian that looks like she could beat the shit out of your dad.
An ingeniously small apparatus from which to snort cocaine.
An art and music festival in the Nevada desert. I went to burning man this year...Or wait, was it
four years ago? Or wait, am I there now? I haven't come down yet.
Bust a Nut:
When a guy cums so hard it feels like he cracked his nut in half.
Adorable slang for a homosexual man.
A sex toy that's placed in the butt. Think about it like a pacifier for your anus.
When her body is smoking hot, "butter face" is jacked up.
Butter your Muffin:
Generously glazing the outside of a woman's vagina with semen.